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7 More Ways to Re-engage in Your Own Life—A Tip Sheet by Adam Fletcher

Personal Engagement is the sustained connection a person has to the world within themselves.

—Adam F. C. Fletcher

A fellow traveler from the 13th century once wrote,

“I once had a thousand desires, but in my one desire to know you all else melted away.”

That was the Sufi poet Rumi, and the “You” he was addressing may have been a love, Allah, or himself. Over the last few years, all have become the same for me as I’ve discovered the meaning of my life.

A Tree of Engagement by Adam Fletcher
“A Tree of Engagement” by Adam Fletcher

If you are having a hard time moving into Heartspace or if you want to re-engage in your own life, stop running from yourself. There came a point in my own life when I ran into a wall that I wanted to move past. Moving through that desire, I found that the only way to move beyond the life I lived in the past was to consciously engage to the life I live right now, in every instant. That is my journey today.


Turned Off By Personal Engagement?

A year ago I wrote the following questions for myself in my journal. If you find yourself disenchanted, turned off, or pushed away from Heartspace, consider these:

  1. Do you love being right?
  2. Are you playing to keep?
  3. Do things fall apart in your life?
  4. Are you hungry?
  5. Is constant movement most comfortable for you?
  6. Do you hear voices?
  7. What are you hanging onto?

Today, I’ve learned to answer these questions honestly to myself.

7 More Ways to Re-Engage

Here are five more ways to re-engage that I’ve learned from my explorations in personal engagement.

1. Be wrong and learn to love your mistakes.

Having to be right is keeping you from being fully engaged within yourself right now. Life isn’t school, and there’s nobody to mark your mistakes wrong. You can use every engagement in your life as learning steps. Take risks, learn more than you think you need to know, and get past what you think may be right or wrong. Being right is hardly the end goal. Instead, live fully and wholly by your ethics and morals. Among my friends, those include being wrong sometimes. I screw up and make mistakes. But the fun of it might be what John Lennon said: “There’s no problems, only solutions.” Each mistake is an opportunity to get correct, and to learn. So let’s love our mistakes instead of running from them. Here’s a good post on how to be wrong gracefully.

2. Share with others.

We don’t have to live our lives in our journals and in our own heads. We shouldn’t close the notebooks in our minds and put them away, just to keep our lives to ourselves. Engaging within ourselves means engaging in the world around us. One way we can do is by sharing with other people, including our struggles, successes, challenges, and methods. This is the way our world can work better! Let’s open ourselves, our minds, hearts, and hands and let others know we’re human beings having human experiences, good, bad and all points in between! By learning to be transparent with others we engage with others, their knowledge and experience, and draw Heartspace nearer to our own hearts. The Johari Window is a useful tool for knowing what and how we share with others.

3. Build it again and again. 

One of the benefits of being personally engaged within yourself is the ability to not only get deeper inside your own life, but to get deeper with others too. The community you creating through personal engagement will emerge slowly, surely, and obviously within moments of your journey inwards. It will allow you to engage deeply and meaningfully as you’re capable, and award you with the sustainability of your lifetime if that is what you choose. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. charged us with building this, saying “Our goal is to create a beloved community, and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.” This is the soulchange he spoke of. The King Center has shared an essay showing how we can continue to create beloved community.

4. Eat mangos.

The very nature of an engaged existence is bound within the skin of an Ataulfo mango. Grown in the Michoacan, Sinaloa, Nayarit, Jalisco, Veracruz and Chiapas states of Mexico, the Ataulfo is silky smooth and wonderfully sweet, and is a dessert all engaged people need to eat. Enjoy it. Mmm mmm!

5. Move on. 

Engage with new people, new ideas and new culture whenever you can, however you can. Get your people, including family and friends, involved in coming up with ways that you can move on from the Old and into the New. Create a life that is engaging for you, move further within yourself, and you will find more people more engaged all around you in turn. Here’s a useful article on how to move on, what to move on from, and more.

6. Listen to your inner voice.

Personal engagement is alive within you right now. Growing quiet and learning to listen to you will lead you further within you, engaging you deeply in the reality that is you right now. The jumbled opinions of the world are interesting fodder if you want to live unconsciously, but within you right now are all the answers to all the questions you have ever had, ever. Do what you know is right, right now. The road you walk is your road, and yours alone. That same voice will teach you to laugh at the way you respond to life too. If you find yourself in a hard place, that voice won’t laugh at the hard place, but at your reaction to that hard place. Learn to smile at it and be kind, and let your inner voice move you to action right now. I thought this how to article was useful for listening to my inner voice.

7. Let go. 

We cannot fix what isn’t broken. Your life is working in absolute perfection right now. You are perfectly engaged in a linear, sequential order that makes sense in a universal way. While that might be beyond your comprehension, ultimately the reality is that peronal engagement is beyond everyone’s comprehension to some extent.

If it feels like you’re in a relationship or situation where you just cannot be engaged, then stop trying. That is exactly how its supposed to be. If you try to force yourself to get engaged, it might work for a minute. But ultimately it will not work- or maybe it will. Either way, it is exactly how its supposed to be. Sometimes it’s about letting go and trusting personal engagement to operate in its infinitely harmonious ways, whatever they are. Other times it’s about taking action and making change. You will become more engaged through your intent and action, surrender and trust. Personal engagement has the infinite ability to persist. Know that by simply letting go. Here’s 40 ways to let go.

You’re on the perfect road to personal engagement right now. Enjoy your walk, run, skip, crawl, or slog- its all waiting for you right now. The challenge is optional, the journey is exceptional, and you are exactly where you’re supposed to be right now. Change, remain, transform, transpire, or expire: Personal engagement is yours.

Let me know what you think by responding in the comment section below, and please share these tip sheets with your friends!


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Adam Fletcher is available to train, coach, speak, and write about Personal Engagement across the US and Canada. Contact him to learn about the possibilities!

By Adam F.C. Fletcher

I'm a speaker, writer, trainer, researcher and advocate who researches, writes and shares about education, youth, and history.

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