Peeled Away Memory

Reflections of wispy white clouds
Peel away
Deep shiny blue paint on the plane’s engines
The heavens call us upward, onward towards our destinations.

159 lonely people, each in our own cocoon
I feel akin to my sister and brother travelers.
here are we going?
How did we get here?
This flight suddenly becomes a parable for the time you left me.

It wasn’t four months ago that you told me you’d had enough, that a year of being together should have produced more than it had. You were done, and I was alone, wondering questions that had no answers.

You are the ocean whose beaches I cannot see;
I can only remember that you were warm like Sherwood Beach on the wayward side of Oahu;
Mulling as the winter’s demolition of Ruby Beach on the Olympic Peninsula;
Content as that stretch of beach on Long Island Sound.
You confuse me.

Now I feel… I feel…

I hunger for the emotion that I granted control of my well-being to our relationship, knowing that it would be tumultuous.
I did not lose control, but I did sacrifice it occasionally as a gesture towards our sanctity and continuity.
I surrounded my emotional well-being to stay together with you- but wait- that is not true.

I didn’t give up anything to you

Traveling upwards
Onwards
I look out the window, reach my hand towards eternity,
and watch a movie
to avoid thinking of you.

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